Beyond Limits 100 - The Quickie Version

It is 3 weeks since this race and most of it feels like a blur or a dream (nightmare?), so I can't give you the play by play. In fact, I even considered skipping this report all together. The race was a struggle and reliving that is not something I have looked forward to. But, years from now I will enjoy reading about it, so here I am. In the end, it was my worst 100 mile time, but it did make me a stronger runner. Not physically stronger, but mentally. I had to want this one. I had to dig so deep I had nothing left. In the end, 3 weeks later, I can say I am proud of myself that I had the guts to tough it out and finish.

So, here is the short(ish) version of a very long journey.

We arrived at Pathfinder Ranch at about 4:00 on Friday afternoon. We quickly unpacked and set out to see what adventures we could find. Colby climbed the rope tower and we were able to catch up with friends as they arrived. We enjoyed the pasta dinner and catching up with more friends.

I was not in great mental shape going into this race. Coming Razorback 100 the week before, I had a stressful week of playing catch up. We had care issues for Mimi, I was behind in work, and I was tired from the 1,000 miles by car and 100 miles on foot. Honestly, I was worried I could even run BLU. I really wanted the Jester 200 buckle and to finish the challenge I had started. I did my best to push the doubt aside and rest that Friday night to be as prepared as I could.

The start came quickly. After getting last minute directions from Ken, the RD, we set off at 8:00. I felt ok. Sluggish, but ok. Colby and Brady were together and doing well. It wasn't long before they were quite a ways ahead of me. I didn't care. I knew it would be that way all day.

I shared some time with my friend Rob and a few others. My legs were heavy and my right leg ached. I really thought it would go away. It always does, right? After some time, I realized that it wasn't going away. I started walking quite a bit until I realized I wasn't running at all. Thankfully, I had worked on a quick walk pace and was able to maintain a 15 or better minute pace without running a step.

Ed had hurt his leg running a 100 miles the day before, so we ended up together. It was great because he walks very quickly and his company is always welcome.

At 10:00 our pastor  Cody arrived with his family. Brady and I had planned on renewing our vows. It was really special to do so in front of our friends and in a 100 mile event. We broke the ceremony up into several short pieces and it occurred while we walked a loop.

After the renewal the fun faded and the reality set in of what a struggle this race was. I walked most of the day. It got really hot and my leg ached more. My hamstring on my right side was so tight. When I tried to run, my knee felt like it would buckle and my leg was not attached correctly. Hard to describe and a sensation I have never felt before. One loop at a time, I just kept moving.

The dark places we experience during an ultra happened sooner and with greater frequency than in any other race. I hurt with every step. I wasn't having fun like usual. I was doing it to get it over with, which made for a long day. At one point I hadn't been counting my loops for a couple hours and thought I was over 40. When I realized I was only at 34, it was a morale killer that took some time to get over. I was just miserable about everything.

At mile 45 I went into Martha's massage tent to see if she could work out the crazy ache in my leg. She wasn't in there, so I tried working it out with The Stick. As I was bent over rolling my leg, I fell over. I just started crying. I was so over the whole thing. Thankfully, Brady had been sitting there. He jumped up, grabbed me by the arm, and said, "ok... let's go. Get up. Get moving." I really think I may have quit if he hadn't been there. I felt so sorry for myself!

Through the night it got really cold. Brady went to sleep for a while so I could catch up to him. The only thing keeping me going was sheer determination. I had a huge blister on my heel from all the walking. Different things ached with each passing hour. My nose was running and my body was frozen.

At 3:30 am we both sat down in the aid station. They had a heater and we needed to thaw out. My body so badly wanted to stay there while my head was really struggling with it. In the 3 previous 100 milers I had completed, I had never stopped like that. I was a firm believer in "beware the chair" strategy, but my body needed a break. Friends and volunteers helped me get in a sleeping bag and get warm. We stayed for 30 minutes and then got back to it.

When the sun finally rose we felt better, but not good. The warmth returned and we moved, ever so slowly, toward finishing.

It was fun (and a little heartbreaking) to see others finish. There came to a point where there were fewer than 10 of us on the course. For a time most of us were all together. It was a death march for me. I hated every step and tried not to be vocal about it. I was so thankful Giovanni, Ed, Brady, and other friends were around. I needed the distraction of their conversation. Inside, I was praying for the strength to finish.

Finally, after 29 hours and 28 minutes, we finally finished. Brady held my hand as we crossed yet another finish line together and surrounded by the support of friends. I can't tell you how much those two buckles mean to me.

I am still not recovered from BLU. My leg is better every day, but not the same. My toes and heel are a lot more human looking, but still not normal. Part of me thinks it may have been a mistake to run back to back 100s, but part of me thinks it is the most amazing thing ever. I did something most people on this planet don't understand and I did it two weekends in a row. For that reason, I am glad I took the chance and tried.

You can't know how far you can go until you try, right?

So many barriers were broken that weekend. My friend Deb finished her first marathon. My son ran his second ultra in a week. Ed, Bill, John, and I all earned our Jester 200 buckles. Many fought hard to finish their goals. It was an amazing experience!