Marathon Ready

I was told yesterday that I was surely, "marathon ready!" What an amazing thing to hear.

Because, with 22 days until the big day, I am feeling incredibly scared. Scared of what?

That I can't finish.
That I will get hurt.
That the RACE will hurt.
That I will disappoint myself.
Ugh. Just scared of the whole darn thing.

So with that fear constantly in the back of my mind, I have been hydrating and carb loading, and trying to sleep like I am supposed to. And worrying. A LOT.

Saturday morning I did my usual ridiculously early wake up and drive to meet Theresa in Escondido. Then it was back to the train station.

I have learned that your nerves always relax once you actually start running. So the pre-run time is unnerving. I wanted to just get going already. But of all days, the train was late today. Yuck. Among everything else, I was worried that the later we started, the hotter the run would be. Thankfully it was a very cloudy and crisp morning. Running in the heat ranks up there in the runners' nightmares.

So about 20 minutes later than it was supposed to, we boarded the train and road up to Oceanside. My fear was so bad, I seriously thought I was going to throw up. Let's get going already!!


And then it was finally time to get going. Theresa thought it would be a good idea for us to run 22 instead of the 21 that the group was going. I figured that 22 couldn't be that much worse than 21. (What was I thinking??!!?) With that in mind, we went out farther up the bike path than everyone else. Because Theresa is faster than me, she and a few others ended up ahead. I looked behind me and realized that I was literally the last person on the path. No one was behind me if I fell or got hurt. No one was there to encourage me. My fear crept in again. I felt a serious sense of dread. Why didn't I just turn around with the big groups? At this point, there was nothing else to do, but run. Run and pray. I kept saying in my head, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Theresa's friend Ted fell back and said he would run with me until we reached civilization. Thank you Ted! Brady thanks you Ted for not leaving me alone on that lonely bike path.

Once we got to the first aid station, Ted took off to meet up with Theresa. I told the coaches that I was the last one. I think they could see the fear I was feeling, as they both encouraged me that time didn't matter and that they would look out that I made it to each aid station in a timely manner. With that, I took off down the streets of Oceanside with nothing but my fear and determination. 6 miles down, 16 to go.

I ran for about 4.5 miles by myself. I did well and kept a great 10:30 pace. Not fast, but comfortable for the long haul. When I came down the sidewalk in Carlsbad and saw the next aid station, I was thrilled to see a group of about 8 other runners. I was no longer alone!! They invited me to run with them, but warned me that they run at a 12:30 pace. I was really excited to run with others, so I didn't care. I found out quickly though that running a lot slower can be almost as hard as running a lot faster. So I ended up ahead of them but then would fall back or wait at the top of hills so I was never far from them. After about the 15 mile mark, I found that their slower pace was a lot easier to maintain in order to avoid any breaks and to stay comfortable for the rest of the run. We kept going, and going, and going... until my GPS finally said I had crossed the 22 mile mark!

When I got back to the station, the coach that had encouraged me at mile 6 saw me come in. He gave me a high 5 and said, you are marathon ready!! Music to my ears.

I am still scared, but I know that my body can carry me for 26.2 miles. I know that I can finish. I know that I will be ok!