Buckle Quest Part III

War Wounds and Regrets Reflections

80 is not old if you're a tree.
The game PAC-Man was released in 1980.
According to the Marine Corps "80 is gravy".
Ed Ettinghausen said "80 miles is friggin hard"
An 80 is good enough to pass grad school.
Moses was 80 when he initially spoke to Pharaoh.
You can go "Around the world in 80 days" with a classic novel.

So why was 80 such a disappointment at Nanny Goat?


80. Not 100. That is why 80 wasn't good enough. I am a type A overachieving perfectionist that missed my goal. I wanted a buckle and didn't get it. 80 wasn't gravy, but it felt like a big fat failure.

I had a serious down period after this race. I didn't feel accomplished at all. I didn't see that 80 miles is HUGE. I only saw that I didn't buckle. I cried when I looked at pictures of other people that met their goals at Nanny Goat. I was so proud for them and wanted that feeling.

Part of the reason I love races is sharing that sense of accomplishment with my friends. Since I didn't feel it this time,  I felt left out.

I can't say that I have regrets about stopping at 23 hours. I wasn't going to make the 86 miles in 24 hour cut off, so I made the decision to stop at 80. I am ok with that. What I do regret is not pushing myself earlier to make more time to get to that cut off. I regret that at some point in the night I told myself that I was done running. I had done the math and determined I had enough time to walk the rest. The first mistake was that my genius math skills did not account for slowing over time and that math at 1:00 am (especially after running dozens of miles) is unreliable.

I gave up on myself hours before I stopped at 80 miles. I should have eaten more, tried coffee or an energy drink, or tried to run more. In that, lie my regrets. Whether I was physically capable of going faster, I will never know because I didn't try. At mile 66 when I got out of the tent, why didn't I run? At mile 70 when I saw others running, why didn't I even try? The change of pace may have made all the difference in the world. I didn't give myself the chance to find out.

I did have war wounds to show for my 80 miles. The waist band on my shorts ate up my back and my shoes chewed up my feet.

 

Apparently some wardrobe adjustments are necessary, because I am not done with the Buckle Quest. I told myself in the middle of Nanny Goat that the quest to complete a 100 mile foot race is 'stupid hard'. It wasn't something I needed. Yeah right. Remember the type A perfectionist? She can't live with an unaccomplished goal. So, Buckle Quest 2.0 was born soon after I hung my Nanny Goat medal on the rack. I will learn from this, train harder, and kick some serious 100 ass next time.

There are several things to do differently:

1. I need to have a fresh pacer or pacers during the night. Brady and I love each other and know each other too much to be good together at that hour. We were both too tired to push the other. We know where the other one hurts and definately were not afraid to dwell on it. Not a good idea. We need to take turns running and crewing for each other or find other people to help us.

2. I need to eat more. I think a problem I had in the middle of the night was hunger. By the time the hunger pains started, it was probably too late to keep them from affecting my race. I needed to be snacking more often after 8:00 pm (my last meal at Nanny)

3.  I need to have positive self talk and remember to pull myself out of the dark places. The pacers will help here, but I also need to pull myself out of the hole and get going when the race is at it's toughest. That is where the accomplishment comes from. Knowing it is tough, knowing it is kicking your butt, but still being able to accomplish what you set out to do. I live for that!

Buckle Quest 2.0 will commence at the Run-de-Vous 100 in August (http://www.run-de-vous.com). Stay tuned, because I promise to keep you posted on the progress!

Post Script - I have been sick since Leona Divide. Every time I ran I was affected by severe coughing. I thought it was a lingering cold and put off going to the doctor until June 4. After breathing and blood tests my doctor diagnosed me with walking pneumonia. He said my oxygen levels were low and wondered how I was able to run at all, much less 80 miles. My friend Rob said that I get a "Nanny Goat do-over".  If I had been healthy, was 100 possible? Who knows. Who cares. It is a new day and after antibiotics and an inhaler, I am back to near 100%. Looking forward to the next adventure!